Tuesday, October 30, 2007

This will not end well

Wanted to read a piece the other day at a website that requires registration, so I registered, putting in nonsense info. Everbody's done that, haven't they?

Anyway, one item they asked for was age, and, of course, not caring (I just wanted to read the stupid piece), I typed in "82." This isn't my true age, of course--I only look 82--but now I've got a problem. In the last three days I've received at least ten offers to be "friends" with various other members (all of which, God help me, I've accepted), as well as personal messages "blessing" me, lauding me for joining a web group at my advanced age, and practically offering to set me up for Meals On Wheels and (as I'm clearly a lonely widower) with their grandmothers.

Now what do I do? If I quit responding they'll think I've died. Maybe I'll keep up the pretense for a month or so and then quit. They'll hold a tearful wake at which they'll remember my wisdom and humor, put up a page of my pithier quotes ("Uh-oh, poopy-pants again!"), and quit bugging me.

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